I do dearly love my little girls, Ava with her seemingly endless supply of questions and ideas and the twins, Rose and Ella, Rose who is forever trying to get moving and Ella with her incredible smile and sense of fun. Sometimes, though, I hit the wall and just cannot respond to any more of their little demands, however cute they may be. During those times, I am exhausted, my brain is longing for intellectual stimulation and my body just wants to receive a pile of tender loving care rather than dish it out continuously.
While I initially chose to ignore the loud screams of the “me”, I have since learnt to honor it, simply because unless you carve out some me-time, you won’t survive as a mom, especially not one lucky enough to have a gorgeous little five-year-old and beautiful twin girls. You get cranky, irritable and hard to live with, Daddy Daniel will testify to that!
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But how are you supposed to make me-time a regular reality? With a five-year-old and twins? One baby can take up all of your care and attention, but two and a little girl??? To be honest, I greatly struggled, especially at the beginning, however, once I had grasped the sheer necessity of me-time, I started trying all sorts of things, before I eventually came up with a few ways of carving out some precious and invaluable me-time:
- Structure Me-Time Around Naps: This may not be the most sophisticated way of organizing me-time, but if all you would like to do is occasionally read a book, watch TV or spend some time with a friend in the comfort of your own home, this method will work. There often is no regularity or pattern to nap-time as a consequence of which your me-time will be a random occurrence. With twins, it’s more difficult again and unless you are willing to do some serious sleep-training to coordinate their naps, your little darlings will often snooze at different times and that will leave you with virtually no random me-time.
- Leave Daddy in Charge: Leaving Daddy to look after your twins while you head off to the spa works quite well. All that is required is a little teamwork and many moms of twins have been able to enjoy some me-time while leaving Daddy in charge. The trouble is, that you may like to spend some of your me-time with your partner, have a romantic dinner out or even just go for a walk.
- Booking a Babysitter or Enlisting the Help of Family Members and Friends: Ultimately, this is probably the best way of guaranteeing hassle-free, regular and certain me-time. You book a babysitter or get a family member or friend to mind the twins and your other kids for a set time, preferably on a weekly basis and you plan a nice activity for yourself. While you will initially need to spend some time with your babysitter, twins, and kids to have them all get used to each other and essentially train in your babysitter, once that is done, it is most certainly the best and most reliable way of making some regular me-time. Not everyone is up to the job of minding twins, however, so be careful when selecting your childminder.
Without regular me-time, I wouldn’t survive and I dare say that any mom, especially of twins, must make an effort to make some time, just for herself. You will be a better mom and enjoy the time that you do spend with your little darlings infinitely more.