Why You Shouldn’t Buy Two of Everything For Twins
When I first found out that I was going to have not one, but two babies, it was something of a shock. Make no mistakes, having Ella and Rose was one of the best things that ever happened to me – I couldn’t be happier. Still, when the news broke that twins were on their way, it was something of a shock even for me.
At the time, I remember people asking me one thing. Everyone seemed obsessed with the idea of my twins having ‘twin’ things. It was as though people thought my little ones should have the same outfits, the same toys, and the same hobbies. Yikes. I wasn’t so sure about that one, to be honest. I’m a firm believer in twins having separate things. Here’s why:
Twins are separate beings
I really, really want to reinforce this idea as much as humanly possible. Just because your two children are twins, that does not mean that they are one being. Having twins is a very special experience, but this is something that you need to know before it happens. When you’re raising twins, you want to affirm to them that they are not expected to be the same. You should, in fact, encourage them to be different.
That means that buying them separate things is not such a bad idea after all. In fact, them having things that they can call ‘their own’ is very healthy. This is something that I’ve tried to do with my girls. Yes, they have some ‘twin’ items, but I make sure that nothing everything they own is the exact same.
They need their own style
As your twins grow up, you should encourage them to develop their own style and personality. Let them know that they are free to experiment with the things that they like and don’t like. Hint: They don’t have to like all the same things.
You might find that one of your kids likes playing sports while the other likes playing with dolls. That is perfectly natural and healthy. Trying to force them into liking the same things all the time is not. Remember that as it will serve you well when choosing toys and the like for your kids.
Sharing everything is unhealthy
While, sure, it may be more economical to have your twins share everything, you need to consider how they feel about that. I would absolutely hate the thought of Ella and Rose feeling like they don’t have anything of their own. Let’s be honest here, the very notion of that makes me desperately sad.
It makes sense that your twins would share some of their toys now and then. As parents, we’re always teaching little ones to share nicely, right? Still, you should be sure to buy them gifts that are ‘just for them’ so that they feel happy and unique. Otherwise, you could run the risk of your little ones feeling like they are always lumped together. How would you like that, eh?
Hint: It helps to tell them apart
Finally, here’s a little bit of a selfish reason for giving your twins separate things. It helps you tell them apart. Of course, every mother can see the difference between identical twins when she really looks. That’s natural. Still, what if you need to tell them apart at a quick glance?
If you’ve dressed your kids in the exact same outfits, that’s going to be anything but easy. Dressing them in different colors or styles of clothes will mean that you never confuse them again! I’ve found this handy trick really useful with my little ones and I’m certain you will too.
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What a great post and I have to agree with you. Sharing everything is unhealthy. I personally don’t know anyone that has twins but I would hope that they let them be individuals and not one being if every anyone I know has twins.
Awww, I would probably buy 2 of everything anyways. My boys are 3 years apart and when they were little, I bought 2 of everything for them as much as I could.
I completely agree that they shouldn’t have to share everything. On special occasions, I’d have to dress them alike before they got too old to demand their own style. 🙂
I completely agree, raising them as individuals is great. I know a twin that has very different personality.
This was a fun read for me. I don’t have twins, but you make a lot of good points. I don’t think I’d buy two of everything either, and I wouldn’t always dress them the same because you’re right, they are two different people.
What cuties! I do agree with you — having twins dressed separately is good for them — it’s good to be unique and different even though they may look the same.
I think it is important for twins to be seen as separate too. I’m sure it is fun to dress them alike sometimes, but they don’t have to all the time!
I am firm believer in the same thing. I do not have twins but I always hated seeing identical twins dressed exactly the same. They both have their own personality and they should be able to show it.
I think it would be great to give them different looks and let them develop their own identity. It would also better to tell them apart.
Hi! What an interesting post. I have noticed that there are so many more twins being born in these last few years, many more than ever before from what I can tell. My best friend has triplets and she agrees with you that even though twins indeed have a very strong bond they are single individuals and that also calling twins “the twins” is not respectful towards their individuality. Thanks for sharing!
I never had twins but it was interesting reading why you think buying two of everything doesn’t have to happen. Would be easier if they were boy and girl twins.
Interesting points. I have always thought that mothers of twins would just naturally buy 2 of everything, but after reading your article, I would definitely consider against it.
I have a friend who was a twin. As they got older, they preferred to share things. They said they felt that’s what made them special was the fact that they DID love the same things and could share them. Every kid is different though so I guess you just have to give them both options and see where they go with it.
I never thought of that before. But it makes perfect sense, that they are two individual people so of course they will have their own style.
Twins that I know definitely enjoyed different things at different times. They don’t have to share everything.
Great post on how to treat twins! I can imagine the they would like their own individual things.
It’s cute to see twins wearing the same outfit, but I don’t like when I meet twins with same outfits. I can’t recognize then who is who.
If I ever have twins, I would probably often dress them the same. But I know it’s not good for many things.
I totally agree with you, twins do need their own identities. Sure, it’s cute to dress them the same for family pictures, but beyond that, let them be their own little people. Even in that case, I think I’d dress them different so 30 years down the line people could still tell them apart.
I love this! Twins are just so cute – they are definitely their own people though, it’s important to recognize that form a young age too! Great tips!
Thanks for these tips. I have a friend who has 21 month old twin girls named Isabella and Isadora. I have not seen them wearing identical clothes since they were born. It does teach them to love their own individuality. Having twins is such a blessing!
I never thought about this before but you are so right!!! People expect twins to not only be matchy matchy with clothes but in their likes and hobbies as well… So much better to foster them as the amazing individuals they are and celebrate them as a person not the other half of someone else…