Surviving Motherhood: How to Have Me Time With Twins and A Five-Year-Old
I do dearly love my little girls, Ava with her seemingly endless supply of questions and ideas and the twins, Rose and Ella, Rose who is forever trying to get moving and Ella with her incredible smile and sense of fun. Sometimes, though, I hit the wall and just cannot respond to any more of their little demands, however cute they may be. During those times, I am exhausted, my brain is longing for intellectual stimulation and my body just wants to receive a pile of tender loving care rather than dish it out continuously.
While I initially chose to ignore the loud screams of the “me”, I have since learnt to honor it, simply because unless you carve out some me-time, you won’t survive as a mom, especially not one lucky enough to have a gorgeous little five-year-old and beautiful twin girls. You get cranky, irritable and hard to live with, Daddy Daniel will testify to that!
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But how are you supposed to make me-time a regular reality? With a five-year-old and twins? One baby can take up all of your care and attention, but two and a little girl??? To be honest, I greatly struggled, especially at the beginning, however, once I had grasped the sheer necessity of me-time, I started trying all sorts of things, before I eventually came up with a few ways of carving out some precious and invaluable me-time:
- Structure Me-Time Around Naps: This may not be the most sophisticated way of organizing me-time, but if all you would like to do is occasionally read a book, watch TV or spend some time with a friend in the comfort of your own home, this method will work. There often is no regularity or pattern to nap-time as a consequence of which your me-time will be a random occurrence. With twins, it’s more difficult again and unless you are willing to do some serious sleep-training to coordinate their naps, your little darlings will often snooze at different times and that will leave you with virtually no random me-time.
- Leave Daddy in Charge: Leaving Daddy to look after your twins while you head off to the spa works quite well. All that is required is a little teamwork and many moms of twins have been able to enjoy some me-time while leaving Daddy in charge. The trouble is, that you may like to spend some of your me-time with your partner, have a romantic dinner out or even just go for a walk.
- Booking a Babysitter or Enlisting the Help of Family Members and Friends: Ultimately, this is probably the best way of guaranteeing hassle-free, regular and certain me-time. You book a babysitter or get a family member or friend to mind the twins and your other kids for a set time, preferably on a weekly basis and you plan a nice activity for yourself. While you will initially need to spend some time with your babysitter, twins, and kids to have them all get used to each other and essentially train in your babysitter, once that is done, it is most certainly the best and most reliable way of making some regular me-time. Not everyone is up to the job of minding twins, however, so be careful when selecting your childminder.
Without regular me-time, I wouldn’t survive and I dare say that any mom, especially of twins, must make an effort to make some time, just for herself. You will be a better mom and enjoy the time that you do spend with your little darlings infinitely more.
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I think with any kids in general, having a good routine and schedule is a must. Kids thrive off of routine.
I can imagine that it is so hard finding “me time” for yourself when you are a mother, but also it is so important as you need time to relax and rejuvenate yourself.
Yes, I remember planning me time during naps. I love to read, so that’s when I’d get some reading done. It’s always important to get me time in so you don’t go nuts!
I cannot even imagine fitting me time in with twins. I know it was hard with one baby and then a baby and a 3 year old! Getting them to nap at the same time was a challenge, but when you can, it is perfect me time!
Me-time is super important and not something I got enough of when my two were younger, but it’s so helpful for recharging!
Enlisting the father is definitely a good start to having time to yourself. There is no need to hire a babysitter when he is around!
Gosh props to you for having twins and a five years old. I have two kids and I can barely find any me time. Glad to hear you are able to get away once in awhile with these great tips!
I cannot even imagine how busy you must be with twins! Having one baby at a time was hard enough! It really is survival when you have three under 5!
Me time is so important. My hands aren’t quite as full as yours but I notice a difference in my mothering skills when I’m run down and in need of a break.
I know how difficult it is to have a me-time when you have a child, not to mention a twin! These are great tips.
I have tow kids, ages 4 and 6. They keep me busy, impossible to have a me time
I agree that all mothers should try to take time for themselves when possible. I am sure that’s particularly challenging for those with multiples like twins.
Though, I am not at the age of having my own baby, but, there is something I remember is my aunt used to leave her little one with me for some time while she could go for a spa, a bank work or even a lunch all by her self. This sounds great.
That does really have to be hard with twins and three kids trying to take care of them all. And then to get a time out must be even harder. Having a helpful spouse is very important there I imagine.
Self care is so important for any new mom, that goes double for a mom of twins. (haha) We moms need to rely on more help and stop thinking we are responsible for everything. Great tips for moms.
Wow these are great tips for moms! Having a twin and another child is not that easy so i salute all moms in the world.
It’s hard to find me time even with older kids. We send the kids off to the grandparents every Sunday so we get a day to ourselves. 🙂
My me time is when they are finally asleep! Or if I request my boyfriend to date me once a month and the kids are off to their grandparents.