Chrissy Teigen has revealed in an honest essay for Glamour Magazine, that she has struggled with postpartum depression since the birth of her 11-month-old daughter Luna.
In an essay published to the magazine’s website, the Sports Illustrated model talks about her experience, why she kept it private, and how she’s doing now.
“I had everything I needed to be happy. And yet, for much of the last year, I felt unhappy. What basically everyone around me—but me—knew up until December was this: I have postpartum depression,” Teigen confides. “How can I feel this way when everything is so great? I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with that, and I hesitated to even talk about this, as everything becomes such a “thing.””
The star reveals she only left her house for work and couldn’t muster the energy to do everyday activities. In addition, she suffered from unexplained bodily pain for months.
Teigen’s whole personality change, despite the appearance that everything in her life was going great.
“Before, when I entered a room I had a presence: head high, shoulders back, big smile. Suddenly I had become this person whose shoulders would cower underneath her chin. I would keep my hands on my belly and try to make myself as small as possible,” she wrote.
Only in December, did she find out why she was feeling so different since giving birth to her daughter, last April.
“Before the holidays I went to my GP for a physical. John sat next to me. I looked at my doctor, and my eyes welled up because I was so tired of being in pain. Of sleeping on the couch. Of waking up throughout the night. Of throwing up. Of taking things out on the wrong people. Of not enjoying life. Of not seeing my friends. Of not having the energy to take my baby for a stroll. My doctor pulled out a book and started listing symptoms. And I was like, “Yep, yep, yep.” I got my diagnosis: postpartum depression and anxiety. (The anxiety explains some of my physical symptoms.),” she explains.
Teigen, who is known for being outspoken and open about her life, says it took her so long to speak up because she truly didn’t think post-partum depression could happen to her.
“I have a great life. I have all the help I could need: John, my mother (who lives with us), a nanny. But postpartum does not discriminate. I couldn’t control it. And that’s part of the reason it took me so long to speak up: I felt selfish, icky, and weird saying aloud that I’m struggling. Sometimes I still do,” she writes.
The wife of John Legend says she is taking one day at a time when it comes to overcoming her postpartum depression.
“I am a much different human than I was even just in December. I’m over a month into taking my antidepressant, and I just got the name of a therapist who I am planning to start seeing. Let’s be honest though—I probably needed therapy way before Luna!,” she reveals. “Like anyone, with PPD or without, I have really good days and bad days. I will say, though, right now, all of the really bad days—the days that used to be all my days—are gone.”
To read the full essay visit Glamour magazine.
What do you think of Teigen’s candid essay? Have you suffered from postpartum depression?