Jessica Simpson’s Funniest Pregnancy Quotes

Jessica Simpson is hilarious, I absolutely love her. And she has some of the funniest pregnancy quotes I have ever heard. Way too much info and some craziness that one would usually keep to themselves – or reserve for close family and friends.

I really relate to her right now. I feel like I have been pregnant forever, and I am the size of a whale. I am oh so thankful that I am not a celebrity cause the rags would have a field day with me!

Here are some of Jessica Simpson’s funniest pregnancy quotes. Let’s just say Twitter is not the best idea for some:

“The average person expels gas 15 times each day. The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!”

Wow, ummmm, ok. Thanks for that! I still remember watching her on Newlyweds and talking about dropping the kids off at the pool. She is too much.

But she topped even that by telling Jay Leno,

“I just started calling myself Swamp Ass. Like, I have ‘swamp ass’ right now. I had major swamp ass because I was wearing these Spanx to hold in my gut. It’s like the bayou up in that region.”

Then she went into how she is still feeling very much like being intimate. After hearing those quotes, I have come to the conclusion that Eric truly, deeply loves Jessica!

“I am definitely ‘feeling intimate’ … I’m kind of unstoppable right now. The Big O is, like, the biggest O ever!”

“I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoo-ha.”

When referring to how many babies she has stuffed in there,

“There is only one, believe it or not. I did get knocked up by a baller. A big football player.”

And her daughter better stay in check when it comes to being girly cause Jessica won’t handle it well if not.

“I swear, I will croak if she asks me for a pair of Nikes instead of Christian Louboutins!”

While I have said, or at least felt, some similar things, I haven’t shared them with the world. Good for Jessica, it is what makes her so freakin’ likable.

What do you think about Jessica Simpson’s pregnancy quotes? Which was your favorite?