War Of The Bucket And The Pettiest Conflict In History

Italy, 1335, and the War of the Bucket offers one of history’s strangest tales. More importantly, it reveals something oddly recognizable about human nature.

The story of rival city-states Modena and Bologna feels less like a historical event and more like the sort of absurd feud told around a fireside centuries later.

Modena & Bologna And A Grudge

Italy certainly offers much more than olives and wine and ski resorts. That’s because all those centuries ago, Modena and Bologna warred in their little peninsular over old grudges so common in neighborly relations.

Interestingly, if you’d been alive back then, the great outrage would not have been a siege or treasonous murder, but a handful of vengeful Modenese locals slipping over the wall.

The Heinous Crime

Creeping past the ashes of the baker and evading sleeping dogs, they skipped the riches of the church and instead, headed straight for the well. Thereupon, they grabbed the bucket. A plain, unadorned bucket made from oak.

Morning came. Bologna’s inhabitants yawned, scratched, went to fetch water, and oh the horror! The rope dangled uselessly. Not unexpectedly, a collective shout of fury arose and everyone screamed about wanting their utility back.

The Sheer Cheek Of It!

Modena simply shrugged. After all, even back then, the playground idea of finder’s keepers existsed. Then, the powers that be rubbed salt in the wound by hanging the bucket in the local cathedral.

As you can imagine, treating the wooden bucket like some sort of saintly relic only made the fires of rage burn all the hotter. After all, hanging the bucket in the cathedral was essentially a medieval middle finger.

The War

Taunted beyond fury, it’s not surprising that Bologna restored their collective pride by declaring war. Possibly, the march to the War Of The Bucket came after a skilled carpenter was dispatched to make a substitute container.

Horses, sturdy boots, and presumably all the baker’s bread accompanied Bologna’s 32,000 righteous soldiers to fight the good fight. Meanwhile, Modena’s soldiers, numbering about a third of that set about defending their right to thievery.

Italy saw a lot of blood shed over the now infamous War of the Bucket. Despite smaller numbers, Modena held out. They stood shoulder to shoulder, fighting for their lives. And amazingly, they won.

An Interesting Piece of History

To this day, tourists walk into the Torre della Ghirlandina, look up, and see it. The original wooden bucket still hangs there taunting the world over audacious and tragic events that make folks scratch their head.

Was there ever another example of escalated property theft that caused a war? No doubt, somewhere in history someone laughed at the absurdity. 

Maybe somewhere before a Roman citizen might have uttered “Quod est demonstratum,” some ancient sage wondered about the human desire to have the last laugh.

Perhaps the fascination lies in the fact that modern flex goes back almost as long as humans existed.