Preparing Siblings for Twins
When I was asked how we prepared to bring home our twin girls to an energetic and active five-year-old girl, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to provide a universally helpful answer. Every family and every household have different circumstances and different dynamics. However, I am confident that my experience is going to be relevant to quite a few expectant mama’s out there.
I had read plenty of blogs and books and even talked to other moms about preparing for the second (and third) child, but didn’t have a real strategy in place to help prepare our youngster for this transition. However, taking it a step at a time is a good way to handle this change.
Before their Arrival
Our daughter, Ava, was curious about my growing belly. While we explained that babies were inside, she didn’t really understand that she was about to get two little sisters.
We read her books about being a big sister, set out all the baby “stuff” several weeks before their expected arrival. We even invested in a small doll stroller for her to push her baby dolls in.
Surviving the Hospital
Hopefully, you will be lucky enough to have your twins come home right after the birth. However, there are some who spend quite a bit of time in the NICU. Unfortunately, if your new little ones have to spend time there, it may be difficult for their older sibling to get to know them.
The best thing you can do is take plenty of pictures and use video chatting apps to let your toddler “see” their new siblings. Even if they can go to the babies, it is important to include your older child in everything that goes on.
Regression is Often Inevitable
For five years our Ava was the baby and the center of attention. All of the sudden her sisters, Ella and Rose, were getting quite a bit of attention. The regression each child experiences is different, some revert to “baby talk” while others may just climb into the baby’s cribs or rockers (which is what Ava did).
The key to overcoming this regression is to keep a routine. After a few weeks, Ava was back to normal and being a “big girl” again, and most other moms have the same type of report.
One-on-One Time is a Must
Plan dates for you and your older child alone. This goes for both mom and dad. Do special things that the baby’s don’t get to go along on. This can help your toddler continue to feel special. Even if you aren’t able to leave the house, snuggle and read with your toddler while the babies are asleep, rather than doing the dishes or laundry.
Things may be chaotic for a little while. Having newborn twins is a challenge, however, with an energetic child thrown into the mix, the situation can get quite interesting – but equally wonderful. Today, Ava is a remarkable big sister, kissing her sisters and bringing them their favorite toys. While there were some ups and downs along the way, each was well worth it.
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I don’t know I would prepare myself, let alone another sibling LOL. Glad this never came up in my house 😉
Oh wow. I can’t imagine having to prepare for two babies at once. I imagine my kids would have been super excited.
This is a great post. I have a friend who had twins. Her son was excited when he thought she was having one baby. He got a little freaked when he found out there were two in there. He was mainly worried about her.
What a blessing to have happy healthy children. It’s wonderful that you acknowledge the needs of the older child. So many parents forget to do that. It must’ve been a real treat to get two baby sisters at once.
That seems like one big experience! I wouldn’t know how to react if I was having twins. Thanks for your input on this matter
When the doctor first told me I was having twins, the only thing I could think was “I have to get another crib, I seriously have to get another crib!”. We were blessed to have 3 boys and then 7 years later have twin girls. One of which has special needs, but I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything. Not only is it important to prepare the family, but also prepare them for problems the twins or in our case one of them had. Thank you for your post!
Go you! Supermom
These are great tips. When I was pregnant with my son, we took my daughter to a class at the hospital to “teach kids how to be big siblings.” It was a good way to let her know about having a little brother.
My brother is about to have his second child and I know they’re worried about the impact it will have on their daughter. I can’t imagine what it would be like to bring twins home but it seems like your daughter has adjusted well!
This is so interesting, I never thought it from this angle. What must a sibling think when they know mom is growing two babies. Thanks for sharing!
Wow, you are my hero! I don’t know i i could ever mentally prepare for twins lol! But your girls are beautiful and your older daughter seems like she adjusted well after it all. My daughters name is Ella too!
These are great tips. I think I’d be in a panic if I knew I was having twins–at first. Then I’d get used to the idea.
I love to have one on one time with my kids. We usually go out to eat. I let them pick their favorite restaurant and we go!
What a great post. I only had one child so I never had to deal with the things you spoke of. These are great tips. Love the one about the special time with the older child.
This is such a great post. I am so thankful that I don’t have twins though I am sure you can’t imagine life without them.
My daughter was 5 when her sister came along. I really agree with one-on-one time to help the transition go a little smoother for the older sibling.
I love the first photo and your kids really look adorable. Ava seems like a great child and it obviously shows that she loves her siblings so much.
First please tell Ava she has a beautiful name! I love it and she is so pretty.
Second – wow I can only imagine the balancing act of making everyone feel at ease.
Good work mom!
I think much of this can also be said for a sibling preparing for one new baby, but imagine things are much more intense with twins. Your girls are precious!
This is such a great post!im bookmarking it for friend for a friend who is expecting twins!glad to see everyone is settling in and living one another! Good job mama!
I don’t have twins, but I definitely agree with spending one-on-one time with the older sibling. I really notice a difference in my oldest’s behavior when we don’t have enough one-on-one time. Now my youngest gets jealous of her big brother. It’s a balancing act!
I think this is a very helpful post. It’s never easy for the kids to transition but it’s not impossible as well. It’s important that we take them into consideration and that they are part of what we are doing too so that they feel like they belong and are also important.
Your kids are really beautiful blessed from God. I have 2 boys and 1 daughter, I’m thankful that my older son was really understanding. I’m also glad that you handle.it as well to your daughter.
You’re such a supermom! I have son and I’m dreaming of twins soon, I think its important to prepare or to talk to my son before planning a baby or twins (hoping).
I remember making sure that my child is always involved when do things for the baby, even when I was pregnant we would take my first child shopping and in doctor appointments as well. It makes them feel like they’re a huge part of the baby’s life and it gives them this sense of responsibility as well.
every moms out there dreamed about having twins! this is really interesting!
I remember only one time when my youngest had an issue with a new baby, I couldn’t imagine having to get them ready for twin siblings. This is really great, and so helpful just in case! ya never know!
jealousy is a common problem for having your child a new sibling, but with proper guidance can help them be more excited and lovable with their sibliongs!
You gave some great suggestions. I have twins but they were and are our only kids so no sibling involved. I am part of a huge Mother of Multiple group though, and many of them have dealt with this.
What a useful and cute post!! 🙂 Great tips..
These are great tips. It sounds like they really helped prepare your daughter for her sisters’ arrival.
Hahaha, being a twin myself, I can totally relate! this post had me going aha so many times. lol
My older sister was about a year and a half old when my mom had my sister and I who are twins. She was definitely an attention hog and did not like us at all. haha
I love the advice that you share here! I wanted twins very badly for my last pregnancy, but it wasn’t meant to be. I have friends with twins and older children, so I’m going to pass these tips along to them!
Such great post for families who are preparing for twins. That elder sister looks so sweet as she anticipates her twin sibs. 🙂
omg that first pic is sooo cute. i know that is so life changing for the entire family.