Setting Boundaries with Your Kids
From birth until high school graduation parent’s set established boundaries for their children. You desire to help you child become a better person by setting boundaries. The boundaries you set are to protect your child. With everything going on in the world around your child needs two specific types of boundaries.
Entertainment: From toddlers to teens entertainment has always been a major issue. Television, music and technology are main concerns of parent’s. The boundaries regarding the three venue’s must be clear and concise.
- Begin early: A toddler is like a sponge. They absorb everything they hear and see. The ground rules should be established as soon as possible in regard to boundaries for TV, music and computers. It’s up to you to be in charge. Whether you choose to let your toddler watch television, listen to music or get on the computer the boundaries you set now will follow them throughout their lives.
- Stay connected: The boundaries you established when your child was a toddler need to carry over into the teen years. With television shows, music and internet that promote sex and anarchy a parent must stay connected to their teenager. What your child absorbed as a toddler is no longer part of their teen years. Television, music and the internet are now geared specifically toward the teenager. A parents responsibility needs to also reflect this change. From twelve through eighteen boundaries are tested. Parents need to stay firm in their decisions.Your teen may hate you now, but remember the boundaries you set today will grow better adults tomorrow.
Events: For eighteen years you are in charge of setting the boundaries to which your child will respond throughout their life. parent’s should have four concerns in the life events of their children. Friends, school, driving and dating need to be the focus of new boundaries.
- Establish parameters: Friendship is one of those boundaries that will cause friction if not handled correctly. parent’s cannot pick and choose their child’s friends, but they can establish the parameters. Ask questions, be involved and the most important aspect; meet your children’s friends’ parents. You want to make sure who your child hangs out with is a positive influence. Where school is concerned parameters are basically already in place. The only option for a parent is to make sure their child knows to obey the school’s boundaries. As always, ask questions and be involved. Driving and dating have combined boundaries. When your teen begins to drive most likely he or she will also begin to date. Of course this is a major concern for the parent. Your child is now sixteen and independent. Regardless, boundaries still have to be in place to protect your teen. Remember, ask questions, set limits and be involved.
- Define what is expected: Your child will test any boundary you set forth. A parent must clearly define what is expected from their child. Are the boundaries concise? Are the boundaries realistic? A child needs to develop social skills through friendships, school, driving and dating. The boundaries you have in place need to clearly reflect this need for social skills. parent’s should make sure their child knows what’s expected so boundaries cannot be compromised.
Whatever boundaries you choose to set for your child, remember those boundaries are what defines your child throughout his or her life.