“Defining our power by how we stack up against our given value systems of the day: This starts by begging the question, who sets the standards of what we value in the world? Well, WE do. And we do it in small and large ways,” she wrote on her blog.
“Our families: Our families tell us what is valued, thereby what our power is in our home and the world at large. Basically, what is approved of by mama and papa (and grandma and grandpa too) is what wins and gets the approval. Certainly, parents are well-meaning enough, but when who we are differs from what is valued in our house, is it any wonder why we have barely any dregs of self-valuation available after being hammered with their agenda?”
Alanis also revealed how it’s important to not think of ourselves as separate to anyone else.
“The thought that we are separate beings: This value system keeps us at odds with each other, and sets up the win-lose battle at the heart of our struggles, large and small,” she wrote.
“Through this lens, we believe that if someone else loses, that’s their loss, and we remain unaffected. We keep ourselves locked in the loneliness and depressing sense of disconnection that comes from such a separatist belief.”
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