Recently I had a mom friend of mine post an interesting question on her Facebook. Her daughter, middle school aged, had a girlfriend over for a sleep over. The friend who visited brought with her some not so friendly habits that weren’t discovered until after the sleepover was over. My girlfriend was proposing to her facebook friends: ‘do I tell her mom or not? (of the problems brought with the little girl)’. It sparked an interesting debate on what she should do. While reading the responses, a thought came into my mind: If I was the mom of the little girl, would I want to know what my daughter had done? Could I receive the information from the mom without feeling as though she was attacking me and my daughter?
Let’s start with us as the mom hosting the sleep over. All children are raised differently. Depending on where you live and who your children associate with there may some ‘ground rule’ similarities, but what if there isn’t? Does this mean you child should be automatically banned from that friendship? In the situation mentioned above, the acts that took place were not necessarily moral upbringing type issues, but rather acts of defiance (and to an extent, just being a kid). So let’s say that your daughter’s best friend of the last few years headed by for a sleep over and ended up stealing one of your daughter’s candies (let’s say it’s candy that she earned by doing chores, or being nice to her siblings, “special candy”). Upon your daughter noticing it was gone you bring it up to your daughter and her friend. The friend tries to blame the candy missing on you, the parent; she tries to convince your daughter that perhaps you, her mom, took/ate the candy. Now, assuming you aren’t raiding the Easter Baskets, you now have the red flag that her girlfriend ate the candy and then lied to cover her tracks. There’s a few ways you can handle the situation. Read the rest of this entry »